so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
