And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
