Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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