are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
