it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
