the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
