We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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