he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
