You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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