i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
