Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
