I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize