I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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