apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I supernannyed him into submission
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
