We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
