In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
