i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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