but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
