He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
