Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
