You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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