yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
