Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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