you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
