Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
