i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize