just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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