last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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