as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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