I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
