You made me cry and you don't even care
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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