Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize