come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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