What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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