Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
