I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
