he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
