I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
