Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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