Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
