Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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