i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
