Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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