no, he came in my armpit
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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