oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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