I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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