I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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