if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm at about main and main street
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
