Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
