my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
