hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
