Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
