Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You may now shotgun with the bride
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
