I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
