My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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