Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize