he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just found a bag of teeth...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
