finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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