mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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