the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
