and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize