You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
