Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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