yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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