she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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