we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
