Small penises have feelings too.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
