She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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