uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
