I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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