I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There's always time for handjobs
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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